American Idol

The place: Minneapolis, Minn. The contestants: As crazy as ever. The judges: (See, “The contestants”)

“American Idol” is back, and it already seems like it’s going to be one of the most watchable seasons to date. (Note: Times below are CST)

7:01 p.m.: “We saw the largest crowds ever, and the numbers were astonishing,” Ryan Seacrest said over images of stadiums filled with those hoping to be the next “American Idol.” I almost got chills. Ridiculous, I know, but let the fun begin.

Jessica Rhode - First contestant shown at the Minneapolis Auditions

7:10 p.m.: Pop star Jewel joined the judges to help weed out the bad from the good. The first contestant — a Mall of America employee and, you guessed it, one of the biggest Jewel fans out there. And, you guessed it, wannabe Jessica Rhode sang a Jewel song that was, in the words of Simon Cowell, “So far off.” Jessica’s response — complete shock and devestation. Let the games begin.

7:25 p.m.: Troy Behman, the second potential contestant to enter the room, continues the horrible singing. And the next. And the next. And the next. Simon could not look more annoyed, and it’s great. I think I may be changing my mind about how much entertainment value comes from hearing the worst singers in America try to prove they are the best.

And now, another commercial break. (That’s so “Idol.”) When do we get to hear someone who actually can sing?

7:34 p.m.: Finally, someone with a story (she’s a self-proclaimed “crack baby”) and a voice. It may have taken 34 minutes, but the judges finally were presented with a good singer. Denise Jackson, 16, from Madison, Wis., sings a song that may be familiar to “Dreamgirls” fans. The result — Randy, Jewel, Paula and Simon give her the first golden ticket to Hollywood. Not that Denise isn’t a good singer, but her emotional story of a rough upbringing is the type of thing that really helps woo these judges.

7:49 p.m.: Most everyone who leaves the audition room tries the left side of the double doors. “Other door,” you hear Simon say. I’m not sure what it has to do with anything, but “Idol” hopefuls who can’t sing must have something that attracts them to the wrong door.

Perla Meneses - Minneapolis Auditions

Perla Meneses, a Shakira wannabe, gets sent through. This is a chance where looks can get you places. So, America, I beg of you, should Perla make it through to the finals, please — make that PLEASE — don’t vote for her. Why? She can’t — make that CAN’T — sing. And her making the finals would prove everyone right who says this show is all about image and not at all about talent.

8 p.m.: Jarrod Fowler, a U.S. Marine, becomes the first male singer to make it to Hollywood. Another good story — the military connection always wins points — Jarrod’s rendition of Rascal Flatts’ “Bless the Broken Road” was enough to push him through. I hope Jarrod can kick it up a notch, because he certainly is the favorite thus far. (I know, I know, we’re only an hour into the season. Still, I’m in the market for a contestant to support.)

Jarrod Fowler: Minneapolis Auditions

8:12 p.m.: Paula isn’t coating anything with sugar this year. I guess the experience of listening to bad singer after bad singer for five previous seasons is starting to wear her down. That may also explain her wild antics at a recent interview.

8:28 p.m.: One more good singer, but nothing too spectacular. The tough part about the good singers, even those who make it far in the competition, is you hardly can pick them out at this point. Think about Kelly Clarkson. She definitely got lost in the crowd until several weeks into the show. Seriously, I’m so anxious for the Hollywood rounds. I keep wanting to reach for my phone and dial 866-IDOLS-01. That’s 866-IDOLS-01.

8:34 p.m.: Rachel Jenkins, another contestant showing up at the audition in her military garb, earned a spot with her rendition of “His Eye is on the Sparrow.” “You’re not one of the best singers, but I think people would like you,” Simon said. I think that’s proof enough the military factor could play a key role this year. In some form or fashion, it may have been what helped boost Josh Gracin to the final rounds. Fortunately, Gracin turned out to be quite a country singer.

8:56 p.m.: If Fuel still is searching for a lead singer, they should know Josh Flom is available. Inspired by Chris Daughtry’s path during Season 5, Flom felt he had what it would take to be one of the rockers this year. Unfortunately for him, the “Idol” judges didn’t think he deserved a ticket to Hollywood. Fortunately for “Idol” fans, judges didn’t think he deserved a ticket to Hollywood.

9:01 p.m.: The first two hours are over, and Sarah Krueger, a 19-year-old student from Eau Claire, Wis., certainly is the one to watch thus far. “Somewhere Over the Rainbow,” Krueger’s audition song, seems to have worked for a few contestants in the past. Will it work for her?

I’m not sure if it’s just Minneapolis, but I’m guessing this year’s “Idol” winner has yet to be exposed to the airwaves of FOX. Hopefully tomorrow night’s Seattle stop (8/7c) will produce the next Clay Aiken or Carrie Underwood. I’d even take a guy who, before “Idol,” never sang in front of anyone — except his turkeys.

Maybe I missed someone, though. They did speed through the 17 singers who earned spots on the roster for Hollywood. What do you think? Did I overlook anything?