American Idol

Philadelphia is behind us. Dallas is upon us, and there are bound to be a few scary auditions as Season 7 of American Idol rolls on. Let’s just hope we can pick out a few stars in the Lone Star state.

7:03 p.m.
First up is Jessica Brown, a 24-year-old mother of two. Here’s the back story: She overcame drug abuse, got her life in order and credits it to Carrie Underwood’s Jesus Take the Wheel. Typical of a wannabe Idol winner.

It turns out she’s quite good. Jessica may get lost in the crowd, but for now, she’s standing out.

“Everybody is so emotional right now, because they didn’t think I’d ever, ever be here,” Jessica said after she got her golden ticket.

Paul Stafford

Next up is roller coaster enthusiast Paul Stafford. He, too, was inspired by a former Idol contestant — Elliott Yamin. Unfortunately, his rendition of Wait for You is nowhere near what Elliott has to offer.

Just leave it to Paula to have something positive to say: “That was a very joyful audition,” she said.

7:15 p.m.
The former Idol contestant wannabe roller coaster rolls on. There’s someone who thinks she’s a little like Kelly Clarkson, and someone who looks a lot like Carrie Underwood. That person is 16-year-old Alaina Whitaker. The Tulsa, Okla., native performs. And, yes, she is a great country singer.

The judges are a little tough on Alaina: “I thought it was a good audition,” Simon said. “I don’t think you’re as good as you think you are.”

But she makes it through. And that’s a good thing.

7:27 p.m.
Bruce Dickson has never kissed a girl. But the 19-year-old has good looks and the things it would take to win the hearts of a few girls. His voice is good, but not ready for radio.

“I don’t see you as this R&B, bluesy singer,” Paula said. “I’m not sure who you are as an artist.”

So, no ticket for Bruce. But, oddly enough, plenty of jokes about not being a man because he hasn’t been kissed. Surprising from this family friendly crew.

Pia Easley

Pia Easley is a model, singer and many other things. She has the soul of Nadia Turner, and she certainly could fit into the Idol equation.

“I thought that was a very good audition,” Simon said. “I like you … you’re interesting.”

If Pia makes it far in the competition, she certainly will be an interesting one to watch. Her personality, look and all things about her just scream fan favorite.

7:37 p.m.
Brandon Green is a little strange. He peels his fingernails and collects them in a plastic bag. But the good news is he can sing. His version of Rich Girl by Hall & Oates is interesting at the very least.

Simon, of course, says he’s “forgettable.” But I think he also said something like that to Jon Peter Lewis. And Brandon certainly could be a Jon Peter Lewis-esque character — without the pens in his pocket. I guess a fingernail collection will do.

Kayla Hatfield

Next up is Kayla Hatfield, who seems a little far out there. Her audition is a complete wreck — but Simon says “yes.” What? Seriously? Why are we even entertaining this? Did you not see yourself rolling your eyes, Simon?

Paula gives Kayla a “no.” And Randy plays into the goofiness of it all and sends her to Hollywood. This is why some people hate this show, in case anyone was wondering.

7:50 p.m.
It’s one horrible audition after another.

Then comes in the last audition of the day, Kady Malloy. The 18-year-old does vocal impressions, including Britney Spears and Shakira. Her Britney impersonation actually is quite good.

When Kady has her turn to sing like, well, Kady, she sings a Carrie Underwood tune and sounds like Carrie Underwood. Simon stops her. She tries another and Simon says, “I think, of all the people we’ve seen this year, you’re the best we’ve seen this far.”

I will say Kady is one of the more talented singers, but I think Simon may be sneaking a few sips of whatever Paula has been drinking.

8:01 p.m.
Douglas Davidson is a 28-year-old student from Austin, Texas. He is concerned with ruining his voice, because he read a Christina Aguilera video this one time … Oh, good grief.

When Douglas finishes his warm-up, he does what every voice-saving singer would do — try to sing Bon Jovi. Have I mentioned how painful these auditions can be? Maybe that’s just me. “What the bloody hell was that?” Simon asked. OK, good. Simon is back to himself in day 2.

8:14 p.m.
Kyle Ensley is a junior at Oklahoma State University and a wannabe politician. He went on an all-day campaign to try and get himself in position to be the next American Idol. Simon bought it.

“I thought it was very academic,” Randy said. “… I’m going to say no.”

So, that’s a yes from Simon, a no from Randy and … “What the heck, I say ‘yes,’” Paula said. Again, I must mention this is not a good idea. This marks the second time in Dallas where Simon has used his power for wasting my time.

8:20 p.m.
A not-so-enthusiastic Tammy Tuzinski walks into the room to perform Power of Love by Celine Dion. But wait, instead, she starts singing (and I use that term loosely) If You Ask Me To. Apparently Tammy hasn’t been reading this blog. If she had, she would have known it’s a terrible idea to sing Celine Dion. Ever.

In case anyone else forgot, Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston are out, too. And I don’t care much for former Idol winner songs being repeated in the audition room. You’re just setting yourself up for comparison.

Colton Swon

Colton Swon walks in to sing Boondocks by Little Big Town. The current country hit is a perfect fit for Colton, who also has the look and style that easily could be molded into the American Idol model.

“I thought it was OK, Colton,” Simon said. “I think there are a lot of guys like you singing in bars across America.”

I think Simon is right, but I also think Colton could have what it takes to grow and mature into a possible contestant worth watching if he survives Hollywood Week.

8:29 p.m.
Idol treats us to a lot of singers who aren’t that great, including a woman who used to be a man and a man who dresses like a woman. Just when you thought, “What this show needs is a farmer …” Wait long enough, and Drew Poppelreiter will show up.

“Farmin’, it’s in my blood,” Drew says before singing George Strait’s Check Yes or No. So, will it be yes? Or no?

Simon says “no.” Randy says “yes.” And it’s up to Paula, once again. “You know what, Drew, I’m going to say ‘yes,’” she says.

“Dude, I did it. I freakin’ made it. I’m going to Hollywood,” Drew said. “How about that?”

Next up is Kyle Reinneck, who claims to be a rocker. Of course, nothing says hard-core rocker dude like Kelly Clarkson’s Never Again. Don’t get me wrong — I think we all know Kelly Clarkson can rock — but this is not the kind of song you want to try and sing when you claim you’re hard-core.

“It’s a definite no,” Simon says. Two more of those, and he’s out the door.

8:43 p.m.
After the commercial break, we’re back with a bunch of Kelly Clarkson songs performed by a bunch of people who can’t sing. Actually, it’s just Since You’ve Been Gone. But the many different tones — all way off, of course — make it seem like many different songs.

Nina Shaw

Then there’s Nina Shaw, who also hails from Kelly Clarkson’s hometown, Burleson, Texas. She sings a version of Whitney Houston’s I Turn to You. The judges aren’t completely impressed, but this girl really can sing.

Randy sees something in her, though. So it’s “yes” from him. “No” from Simon. And another “yes” from Paula. It’s on to Hollywood. So, could Nina be just like Kelly Clarkson, a contestant Simon almost overlooked in Season 1? It’s probably a little too soon to tell. I’m not seeing it just yet, though.

8:51 p.m.
After the final commercial break of the night, there’s one more contestant — perhaps the most outrageous of the night. He’s wearing a ridiculous costume, and I just can’t wait to hear what Simon has to say.

Oh, wait. I just realized his feather hat has wings. What?!

Renaldo Lapuz

So, Renaldo Lapuz, 44, starts singing, or “singing,” depending on how you see it. There’s no need to say it, but it’s a horrible screeching of a noise. And the judges encourage it with dancing and continuing to have Renaldo repeat the song. OK, now it’s getting entertaining. Paula is doing some kind of stomp dance … Now that’s entertainment.

“I have a horrible feeling that’s going to be a hit record,” Simon says with a laugh. Watch out, William Hung. Because Simon frequently knows what he’s talking about … I’m not buying it, should Renaldo get some kind of deal.

There may not have been a golden ticket for Renaldo, but 24 people from the two-day Dallas auditions were advanced to the Hollywood rounds. Next stop on the Idol search, San Diego. Until then, keep it here at watchingamericanidol.com to read the latest news and opinions about the show.

ONES TO WATCH: Pia Easley certainly stood out more than any other contestant. She has a look that’s easy to remember, and the girl can sing. That’s what it’s all about, after all. Of the other 23 to make it through to the next round, let’s keep an eye on Colton Swon and Nina Shaw. The finalist I’d like to forget? That would be Kayla Hatfield. She’s just too much for me.

American Idol, Season 7, Kelly Clarkson, Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, Ryan Seacrest