American Idol

Olivia Newton John joins the judges during Los Angeles auditions.

First things first. When you’re in Hollywood, it doesn’t make sense to say, “You’re going to Hollywood!” Sorry, Randy.

Also, before I get into the good and bad of the night, let me just say I am thrilled the audition shows are almost over. Can’t we just skip San Antonio, Texas? We’re already in Hollywood, after all.

But that’s not how it works. So, until then, here are the highlights — and, of course, lowlights — of the Los Angeles auditions.

Let’s start with the good.

Brandon Rogers

He’s been a background singer, and he’s performed with stars such as Anastasia and Christina Aguilera. “Winning American Idol to me would mean every decision I made to pursue my music in my life would be validated,” Rogers said. Well, Mr. Rogers, it’s your turn to take center stage.

After all, the judges all really liked you. “I think out of everyone we’ve seen today, this is by far the best audition,” Simon said. “… For the first time today, I think I can see this guy making the finals.”

“I felt you in my heart,” guest judge Olivia Newton John said.

Oh, while we’re talking about Olivia Newton John, let me just raise the question — Shouldn’t you be focusing on “Grease: You’re the One That I Want?” I’m just asking.

Another highlight of the L.A. auditions came with the return of Season 5 finalist Brian Miller. After being devestated by last year’s results, the 19-year-old returned to audition. Even though he made it through — and he deserved it — Simon said, “I can’t remember you.” That won’t be good during the next round.

Alaina Alexander

I didn’t think Alaina Alexander was too great. There’s no way I would have sent her through, but her poor choice of auditioning with a Michael Buble song didn’t hurt her in the slightest. “I like you,” Randy said, admitting, the singer was “pitchy, all over the place.”

Simon, the king of insults, didn’t see it that way. “I thought that was really, really, really great,” Simon said. “I like you a lot.”

And then they let her through. And she certainly isn’t good enough to make it to the finals. But, as always, she wasn’t anywhere near the bottom of the list. In fact, there were so many bad singers I’ve decided to narrow it down to five.

In no particular order, here are five of the night’s worst singers, presented with quotes from an always-thoughtful Simon Cowell:

Martik Manoukian

1. “I’m not being rude …” Simon said to Martik Manoukian. Um, yeah, you haven’t heard him sing just yet. So, after the audition? “The buildup was horrific, the outfit was horrific, the meowing …” Yeah, the meowing.

2. “You sounded like Cher after she’s been to the dentist,” Simon told Marianna Riccio after her audition.

3. The classic Simon: “I’m not sure what was worse, the singing or the dancing.” Sorry there Phuong Pham. “Idol” certainly isn’t for you.

4. “I have absolutely no idea what you just sang,” Simon told Eric Mueller. Another Cowell classic.

Cavett “Sparkles” Carr

5. And, let’s not forget “Sparkles,” also known as Cavett Carr. “You are fabulous, but it was the singing that was off …” And the nickname.

Sherman Pore

Tonight’s show, at least for me, wasn’t all about the good and bad. It was more about finding out why the old guy was making Paula turn into a puddle of tears. I was anticipating that moment since seeing the previews last night.

Sherman Pore, 64, had a story he thought would get him noticed. He lost his wife just a few days before the audition. And he dedicated his audition to his late wife. “I’m going to sing a song for my lady,” he said.

Even though I wasn’t all that interested in hearing him sing, mostly because he was too old to audition, I know there were many people who thought it was the sweetest thing on Earth. Even Simon couldn’t help but be polite. “You’re a class act, Sherman,” Simon said.

OK, you win. It was sweet.

If you were expecting to hear a more “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” Katharine McPhee, forget about it. That certainly isn’t the sound the runner-up of last season’s “American Idol” brings to the table with her self-titled debut.

The CD, which was released today, is a mix of all things pop and R&B. The music — almost from start to finish — is the kind of stuff you can expect to hear while shopping at the mall. In other words, it’s the kind of music that easily can be forgotten.

Maybe I’m a little frustrated, because I wanted to hear a ballad-heavy release from McPhee. Instead, bubble-gummish pop tunes such as “Not Ur Girl” and “Dangerous” sound more like the early work of Christina Aguilera and, dare I say, Britney Spears. It’s almost like McPhee is trying too hard to fit in somewhere, somehow.

And it sounds almost like she showed up a few years late. Or that she was a member of a Diddy-created girl group that decided to create an independent solo project.

But McPhee’s voice still is sweet. It’s just not the McPhee that led us to catch McPheever. Seriously, the only song that will give you faith in having supported this girl — at least if you were in it for the ballads — is “Ordinary World.” Another attempt, though it also falls short, is “Home.”

This definitely is not the strongest start for McPhee, but, then again, you never really know what radio will pick up these days. And, judging by the crazy amount of production that went into creating this sound-and-image combo, something just may stick.

Let’s just hope the best is yet to come from our sweet little songstress.

Ruben Studdard made the city’s area code famous, at least among “American Idol” fans. Taylor Hicks brought the “Idol” status back after winning Season 5.

But can another “Idol” come from the 205? If the start of the show was any indication, the answer would be a definite “no.” (Sorry there Erica Skye. But you should know never to sing “Unchained Melody.”)

Erica Skye butchers “Unchained Melody.”

Just once I want the “Idol” auditions to start with a singer that makes it through to Hollywood. I’m not sure that’s going to happen, which is further proof people tune in for the bad stuff.

But it wasn’t long before the good singers started walking through the door. During the two-day visit to Alabama, the judges let through 20 more singers to the Hollywood round.

Jamie Lynn Ward sings Christina Aguilera’s “Reflection” during her “Idol” audition.

There might not have been another Taylor or Ruben auditioning, but there certainly was a sweet little Kellie Pickler-a-like. One of the night’s definite favorites has to be southern charmer Jamie Lynn Ward. So, what makes the 17-year-old special aside from her sugary-sweet attitude? Her dad shot himself, and now he’s paralyzed. Yeah, and she dreams of buying grandma a house. Sign her up for the top 24.

A couple more favorites from the night:

17-year-old Tatiana McConnico

“I’m a huge fan of the show,” Tatiana McConnico said. “I’ve watched every single season. … Hopefully I’ll miss this season because I’ll be on it.”

Well, you’re on your way.

Chris Sligh sings Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose.”

He looks a little like Jack Osbourne, and he has a goal: “I really want to make David Hasselhoff cry,” Chris Sligh said.

Sligh has a way with the comedy, and Paula even gave him a standing ovation. “I like you very much,” Paula said. “And you’ve got a good sense of humor. And you’re different.”

“Chris, you’re through to Hollywood,” Simon said.

And let’s not forget the bad. And old:

50-year-old Margaret Fowler pretends to be 26.

She walked in looking like Big Bird. Margaret Fowler claimed to be 26. Nobody believed it. Not even for a second. But somehow she got into the audition room.

“I’ve got to be honest with you,” Simon told her. “I have no idea what this show is anymore.”

I was beginning to wonder, too. Fowler finally admitted her age was a lie. Actually, she’s 33. Well, make that 50.

“Sweet Home Alabama” played as the show was ending, which is the biggest cliché of the season. Ryan promoted Wednesday night’s auditions in L.A., and I almost fell asleep. Tonight definitely left me longing for the finals. I am so over these auditions. Let’s get on with it, already.

There are video games, candy dispensers and plenty of CDs and DVDs. But lottery tickets?

It seems the “American Idol” brand has hit a new market — at least in South Carolina. The state has released lottery tickets with an “Idol” theme. Winners are awarded with cash prizes and tickets to the show’s finale.

Some parents in South Carolina are saying the tickets are a bad thing. They are suggesting since their children are fans of the shows, they will want to get their hands on the lottery tickets. The state responded by saying people must be 18 to buy the tickets, and the show’s research shows 90 percent of the show’s viewers are 18 to 50 years old.

I say, like the idea of tickets or not, this is just further proof “Idol” is a force.

Jennifer Hudson arrives Sunday at the 13th Screen Actors Guild Awards.

Jennifer Hudson just won the Screen Actors Guild award for best supporting actress for her role as Effie White in “Dreamgirls.”

“Thank you to the Screen Actors Guild. You are the heart of this industry,” Hudson told the room full of actors. “Thank you for noticing little old me.”

The only win left would be the Oscar. So, do you think the “Idol” finalist deserves the Academy Award for her first major film role?

Let’s say you’re considering auditioning for “American Idol” when Season 7 rolls around. Well, based on some not-so-pleasing auditions I have heard in the first couple of weeks — and several seasons ago — I’m going to suggest marking these possibilities off of your list:

1. Anything by ZZ Top. Clifton Biddle, a banker, auditioned with ZZ Top at the New York auditions this season and, well, I’m guessing this could be the last time you hear his name.

2. “Africa” by Toto. This song also was used by a hopeful during the New York auditions. Awesome song, but it just doesn’t work here.

3. Anything by Selena. Kind of a tough act to follow, and that story can’t be beat. Not something you can sing, even when you admit you can’t sing. (Do you remember Sarah Goldberg from just a few days ago?)

4. “She Bangs” by Ricky Martin. Well, then again …

5. Anything by “American Idol” winners, especially Kelly Clarkson’s “Before Your Love.”

This list could go on forever. But what do you think? What songs should people never sing again? Or what songs work well?

Chris Daughtry performs Thursday at TRL on MTV.

Simon Cowell said he should have won last season’s show. Chris Daughtry certainly is taking the Clay Aiken trail — except for the style of music, of course — and now the up-and-coming rocker has announced a free concert.

The March 23 date has been set in Greensboro, N.C., where officials at the Greensboro Coliseum have organized the event to lead up to the March 24 start of the NCAA women’s basketball tournament.

Even though he finished fourth on last season of “Idol,” he currently is getting a ton of radio play with his first single, “It’s Not Over,” from his debut CD. That CD, by the way, has sold more than 1.3 million copies.

Daughtry seems to be staying busy keeping his name out there, too. He stopped by MTV’s TRL on Thursday, and he continues to keep promoting and promoting his music with a tour that includes these dates through February:

Sunday, Jan. 28: House of Blues, Anaheim, Calif.
Monday, Jan. 29: Belly Up Tavern, Solana Beach, Calif.
Thursday, Feb. 1: The El Rey Theatre, Los Angeles
Sunday, Feb. 4: Slim’s, San Francisco, Calif.
Tuesday, Feb. 6: Neumo’s Crystal Ball and Reading Room, Seattle, Wash.
Wednesday, Feb. 7: Berbati’s Pan, Portland, Ore.
Thursday, Feb. 8: The Boardwalk, Orangevale, Calif.
Monday, Feb. 12: Clubhouse, Tempe, Ariz.
Tuesday, Feb. 13: The Rock, Tucson, Ariz.
Wednesday, Feb. 14: Launchpad, Albuquerque, N.M.
Friday, Feb. 16: Old Kelly’s, Abilene, Texas
Saturday, Feb. 17: Dos Amigos Cantina, Odessa, Texas
Sunday, Feb. 18: Jake’s Sports Cafe, Lubbock, Texas
Monday, Feb. 19: Gypsy Tea Room, Dallas, Texas
Wednesday, Feb. 21: The Meridian/Red Room, Houston, Texas
Thursday, Feb. 22: White Rabbit, San Antonio, Texas
Friday, Feb. 23: Stubb’s Bar-B-Q, Austin, Texas
Sunday, Feb. 25: The Other Side, Tulsa, Okla.
Tuesday, Feb. 27: The Black Sheep, Colorado Springs, Colo.
Wednesday, Feb. 28: Bluebird Theatre, Denver, Colo.

I guess this proves Daughtry is working hard to make the most of his “Idol” success.

Season 2 “American Idol” finalist Kimberly Caldwell

Singing. Hosting. Acting. Modeling.

Kimberly Caldwell is taking on the entertainment world one job at a time. She’s become one of the most successful contestants from “American Idol.” And she’s loving every minute of it.

“I just try to make sure I do a little bit of everything every week,” Caldwell said. “I just try to take it week by week.”

While Caldwell, a Season 2 finalist on “Idol,” has continued to stay busy with hosting jobs for TV Guide Channel since her season, she certainly has had her eyes on entertainment for much longer. She started singing when she was 5, and she appeared on both “Star Search” and the 2001 reality show “Popstars” before “Idol” pushed her even further into the spotlight.

These days she splits her time between Los Angeles and her native Katy, Texas, fitting in weekend performances and appearances on talk shows such as Larry King Live. Caldwell, whose main gig on the TV Guide Channel revolves around “Idol” reporting, said Season 1 runner-up Justin Guarini will be joining her this season as a correspondent. She continues to stay well-connected with other former “Idol” finalists, including Lisa Tucker, Jon Peter Lewis, Trenyce, Rickey Smith, Lindsey Cardinale, Ruben Studdard and Ace Young, all of whom she has performed with at various concerts and events.

“Going through that experience and being in the top 10 or top 12, you really do have appreciation for the other people who did it because you know how crazy it was,” she said.

Caldwell said this year she will be focusing on finishing up the CD she has been working on with Diane Warren. That, of course, comes after the release of the horror film “Wrong Turn 2.” In the movie, which took the cast to Canada for filming, Caldwell said she plays a character loosely based on herself. Very loosely.

“It was based on a girl who is trying to make it in Hollywood,” Caldwell said of the character, who also is named Kimberly. “Her personality is definitely not me. It’s more of a bitchy me.”

At 5-foot-4 — “5-foot-5 on a good day” — Caldwell said she never considered herself model material. That also recently changed when she started doing charity and celebrity runway and modeling gigs, including a recent fashion show with models from the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. The multi-talented entertainer also is the spokesperson for Michael Antonio shoe collections, which she said include “the hottest modern pumps.”

“I just didn’t know I’d really enjoy the other aspects of the entertainment industry,” Caldwell said. And even with a hectic schedule, she can’t imagine doing anything else.

“Everybody goes through hard days,” she said. “At the end of the day, I never have a question of where I want to go or what I want to do.”

So, with all this work, is there ever any time for play?

“I try to make at least one or two nights a week for the people who keep me sane,” she said.

FIVE QUICK QUESTIONS WITH KIMBERLY CALDWELL
1. What word or phrase can you not go a day without saying?
“‘Work it’ is probably it my favorite.”

2. What is in your CD player right now?
“Annie Lennox and Etta James”

3. What was the last movie you saw in a theater?
“I think it was ‘Happy Feet’. The first four and a half hours are really cute.”

4. How did you ring in 2007?
“I was in Hollywood. We were at a big Paramount Pictures party, and the Killers were performing.”

5. What was the last thing you ate?
Apple Jacks with Bananas
“I love cereal with bananas. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.”

Kimberly Caldwell performs the National Anthem at the inaugural Texas Bowl on Dec. 28 in Houston.

FIND OUT MORE
Find a list of upcoming appearances and more news and updates about Kimberly Caldwell at her official Web site.

The Big Apple. The City that Never Sleeps. No matter what you call it, New York is known to be an entertainment mecca in this country.

With guest judge Carol Bayer Sager (”A Groovy Kind of Love” and “That’s What Friends Are For”), the auditions were off to a start. I expected a lot of Broadway talent. But, there was little to none. At least there was little to none shown during the two-hour episode.

There were a lot of the usual suspects — the good, the bad, the ones that just wanted to get on television. So, in the search for the most talented (and she may have been shown in New York), I looked for a few other mosts. Here’s what I saw:

Ian Benardo

MOST ANNOYING: Ian Benardo
He already got too much airtime on “So You Think You Can Dance.” Now “Idol” went ahead and gave him even more camera time. Honestly, I’m so annoyed I can’t give him any more space on this blog. It’s over Ian. Let it go.

MOST ENERGETIC (OR MAYBE NOT): Nakia Claiborne
After bursting into the room with more energy than the captain of a cheerleading squad, Nakia Claiborne belted out “Dancin’ in the Street.” I thought the judges were going to send her through. I probably would have sent her through. But first, they asked her to slow it down. She was all over the place and, before it was all said and done, a much less energetic Nakia heard “No.” Ugh. I really wanted her to be good.

Sarah Goldberg

MOST CONFUSED: Sarah Goldberg
Somehow Sarah Goldberg thought “Idol” was about something more than finding the next great singing superstar. “I could be the first American Idol who can’t sing,” Goldberg said. Um, hello there lady. “Idol” is all about singing. Well, and looking good, of course.

Sarah Burgess

MOST INSPIRATIONAL: Sarah Burgess
The 19-year-old from Ohio lied to her parents. Instead of staying with a friend, Burgess, obviously, went to New York to pursue her dream. She revealed her dad wasn’t always supportive of her career path — “I really want my dad to tell me how proud of me he is,” she said. — and she took a big chance. Next stop, Hollywood.

Chris Richardson

MOST COMPARED TO JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE: Chris Richardson
Yes, he can sing. No, he’s not Justin Timberlake. Sorry, Paula. It’s just not there. Much like Simon, I too think this guy could surprise us in the next round. We’ll see how it works out.

MOST DEDICATED/MOST UNLIKELY TO MAKE IT: Porcelana Patino
Sure she’s been working for a year on her look. But, again, this is a singing competition, and Porcelana Patino really isn’t all that special. Seriously. I’m sorry to say it, but this girl got through by singing a Mary J. Blige song. And nobody can sing Mary J. unless it’s Mary J.

Kia Thornton

MOST TALENTED: Kia Thornton
Singing Aretha Franklin is quite a risk. But, if you’re Kia Thornton, 27, it definitely is the thing to do. “Ain’t No Way” proved to be worth a golden ticket for Thornton. “That was a great audition,” Simon said. “Best today.” I agree. In fact, I may have another new favorite.

MOST PROMISING: Rachel Zevita
She auditioned with three completely different styles, and opera student Rachel Zevita certainly has what it takes to make it from week to week in terms of the voice portion of the show. Her version of “Eternal Life” by Jeff Buckley was a good choice. I’m not sure she’s the best at pop singing, but certainly she has a strong voice.

Antonella Barba

MOST POPULAR/MOST OVERRATED: Amanda Coluccio and Antonella Barba
These best friends — that’s about to end — came from New Jersey and, even though the both have decent voices, they made it through with the help of their looks. Sure they have decent voices, especially Barba, but this is the classic example of why many people criticize the show. Of course, those same people are the ones who have kicked better singers off in the past because they haven’t been the most attractive.

COMING TOMORROW: My interview with Kimberly Caldwell.

We only got to see a few seconds of it during the All Night Long montage, but I am pretty sure the Green Machine tried out. And with that, welcome to New York.

Finally, a sob story who can actually sing, Sarah Burgess, who lied to travel to New York to audition while her parents thought she was in Ohio, has a voice that doesn’t make me want to take lots and lots more cold medicine. With the cold medicine that is already in my system, I bawled like a little drugged-up baby when her Dad told her he was happy. That’s some good Pickler-type television.

I’ve been watching for 15 minutes now and because I turned on the TV late, I have no idea who our guest judge is this week, yet. Because the dog knocked over my ghetto antenna, the screen is fuzzy and I can’t make out facial details. For a few minutes, I blamed the meds, AGAIN, on my thinking that there were two Paulas (one with a giant wig) tonight, and all I could really bring myself to think was, “Heaven help us all.”

Bless the Internet for telling me it’s Carole Bayer Sager.

(Who’s that?)

Gotta always follow the ticket to Hollywood with a good old-fashioned My Big Fat Greek Trainwreck.

P.S., Separated at birth?

Have you ever had two friends who, separately, are fabulous people? Kind, friendly, happy. Then you think they ought to out together? And then they get together and two years down the road, there’s a whole lot of screaming and crying and dividing of assets because together, they just don’t work out? Yeah, that’s kind of what I get from this best-friend pair. I actually had no clue that either of them would get past a few notes on their own because together, their voices melded into some sort of in-heat cat serenade on a fencepost. Separately? Girls got to Hollywood.

While the singing talent in New York seems to be somewhat there, the drama talent is beyond full force, as there are daytime-soap-opera pleas for “one more chance.” News flash: one more chance would embarrass you more, sweetheart. Sarah Goldberg, who is the exact image of what I always thought Stacey from the Baby-sitters Club would always look, needed to just quit while she was really, really behind, and go back to creating kid-kits with the other girls.

And on that note, goodnight children:

Memphis: The city of mumbling. It’s not so catchy, but it certainly was true.

Iyma heyra whn youra luvyn mye, sang 16-year-old Timika Sims. Huh? I’ve heard Ashanti’s “Rock With You,” and it sounds, well, absolutely nothing like that.

But Timika wasn’t the only one with a case of the mumbles at the Memphis auditions. It seems there also were problems with Christopher Rivera and Alexis Partee. And many others who mumbled and stumbled their way into the audition room. Sheesh!

Jason “Sundance” Head

Fortunately, there were a few — 22 people made it through to Hollywood — singers who actually could sing. There was Jason “Sundance” Head — don’t get me started about that name — and Danielle McCullough, who Randy wasn’t convinced should go to Hollywood.

And, then, ladies and gentlemen, there was my favorite of the night. Are you ready? No, seriously, are you? C’mon. Get excited. I’m talking this girl was excellent.

“One of the best auditions ever, vocally,” Randy even said.

Background singer Melinda Doolittle

Yes, I’m talking about Melinda Doolittle, the girl who needs to step up from her role as a background singer and shake those nerves. Sure she’s a background singer now, but “Idol” could be her chance. And, after I did a little research, I think I discovered Melinda even has an “Idol” connection. She is listed among the background vocalists for former “Idol” finalist George Huff. Oh, George Huff. I miss that enthusiasm. So, George, if you’re out there, your girl Melinda could use a little help.

It’s not just me who liked her, either. Even Simon had some nice things to say. “You are a brilliant singer, a brilliant singer,” he said. “You are what it’s all about.”

And he is so right.

Sean Michel, prior to a much-needed “Idol” makeover.

The surprise of the night was Sean Michel, who said, “Everybody says I look like Osama Bin Laden or Jesus or Castro.”

Um, yes.

The good news? I know a hairstylist that probably would love to get his hands on your hair. And, if things go your way, he just might have a chance to give you a style makeover that would blow even the famous Clay Aiken transformation out of the water.

Next stop, New York. And since President Bush won’t be delivering the State of the Union address, we’ll be back to two-hour episodes.

Does anyone else think of Jeff Foxworthy whenever the President preempts? I do, every time, but I only start screaming it when I’m sick and on lots and lots of cold medicine. My dogs and I (and the Nyquil-fairies floating around the room) think it’s hilarious.

I’m sick, y’all. We’re 42 minutes into the State of the Union on Fox News and because Utah gets the bum end of the deal in programming, I have yet to see a single second of American Idol tonight. All I’ve seen is lots of John McCain’s mug. And ladies in red dresses. And wait, there’s more John. And he’s playing with his Blackberry. Isn’t that like passing notes during the sermon? Isn’t that bad?

Thus, I think we’ll leave it up to Reed to cover tonight’s episode and I will take more cold medicine and climb into my bed.

I will have you know, however, that I was approved as a Myspace friend of one Ms. Paris Bennett this week. In closing, I shall quote the “About Me” of her profile. You can do with it what you will, but please tell me this—is it just the meds talking or is this intro kind of wack? And also in dire need of a red pen?:

Bon Jour! Welcome to this place of royalty. If you’ve been excepted you’ve heard about me, if you’ve been trying you under estimated me… But now your here so sit back relax and enjoy what i call paradise….My fans know what i’m talkin about!! “Take Five!” You’ve Officially Been Princessed….! Love madmoselle Pari!

Mandisa, one of the gorgeous female finalists from season five, has announced she’s recording an album on Sparrow Records.

Mandisa was always one of my favorites on season five, and had it not been for the addiction I developed to Katharine McPhee, I would have voted for her eleventy-thousand times every night. Her weight and race were blamed for her early elimination, but I don’t like to think about that, or I get all red in the face and my Southern drawl emerges. I don’t like considering that what made her unique is suspected to be what made her downfall. I do like thinking, often with a big bowl of popcorn on my lap and a chuckle, of the time that Simon made derogatory comments regarding her weight and I think she was, in regard to that, the biggest woman, gracefully, in the world. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because I will be heading out on some blustery Tuesday morning in the future to hook myself up with a copy of this girl’s album. I always thought her soulful voice would be perfect for an album chock-full of hymns, and I can’t wait to hear what she has for us.

I’ve mentioned before I think this season of “American Idol” is going to rely heavily on the military factor. In other words, if you show up at the auditions in a military uniform — Army, Navy, Marines, it doesn’t matter — you’ll be ahead of the curve.

Want further proof? Tonight’s auditions are in Memphis, Tenn., where at least one military contestant has made news in Norman, Okla.

The Norman Transcript reports that tonight’s episode will feature former Norman resident Phil Stacey of the U.S. Navy. The reason the newspaper is reporting on Stacey’s audition is because he left his pregnant-and-almost-due wife, Kendra, to audition for the show.

Even though “Idol” moved up Stacey’s audition time to help him catch an early flight home, it still was too late. Stacey’s second daughter, McKayla, was born before he made it home.

So, there’s a good story for a future “Idol,” right? We’ll see about that. If the auditions in Memphis are anything like Minneapolis or Seattle, well, I’m not sure anything will help. That is, except for the military factor. Remember, you heard it here first.

It’s the six-year-old, waxing obnoxious battle: Is Simon (or are any other of the judges) too cruel to the hopefuls auditioning for a ticket to Hollywood? On Saturday, when asked if he thought the judges were big meanies, Fox television’s network chief Peter Liguori said, “I think it’s part of what makes American Idol American Idol.”

Rosie O’Donnell, no stranger to controversy these days, said Friday on The View, “If you keep serving people crap and telling them it’s a meal, they’re eventually going to think it is a meal.” I’m all for honest opinions and I’m all for good entertainment, but what do you think? Last week, Simon told someone his audition was almost “not human.” When does it go too far? When does the constructive (and entertaining) criticism stop being about someone’s audition and travel into the unsafe territory of attacking a person, and not a “singer?”

Here we are, gearing up for another round of promisingly painful auditions. Certainly, everyone is welcome to his or her opinion when it comes to Simon, Paula, or Randy. (Personally, I find Randy obnoxious, Paula intoxicated, and Simon devastatingly handsome.) Can they be cruel, at times? Yes. “Unusually” cruel? Maybe, but only taking into consideration that these people ask for it. I guess it’s up to Fox to decide how far asking for it will get the judges. What do you think?